Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Breathing Again

I woke up this morning smiling, as it sunk in that we get to have a new president! One that I am truly excited for, and can believe in. I can believe in new possibilities, and that we really can open the door to the impossible, and it's not too much to dream. I couldn't stay up late enough to watch his speech, I am TIRED this week, so I watched it via DVR tonight. As I watched, I felt very much like I took a big, deep breath in, and realized, as I breathed out, perhaps I had been holding my breath for a very long time. It's like now I can actually believe we can move forward not one country divided in two, but as one together even with differing opinions. Differing opinions are to be respected, considered and ultimately make us stronger if guided in the right way. Today I am hopeful that is the case. I am believing that the impossible is possible, not just for our country but for me, for Americans, for the global community, as much as any of us so choose.

I am not naive enough to think campaign promises translate to guaranteed reality, but I am hopeful enough to dare to dream that our country, slightly damaged, can grow to be better.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Dirty Old Man

I find myself feeling strangely disturbed. This morning, John McCain announced Sarah Palin as his running mate. A surprising choice, which at first blush appears to be simultaneously a blatant attempt to woo undecided Hillary voters and a capitulation to his party's more conservative value system. And, simple math reveals an age difference of 28 years (72-44=28).

And, as anyone who knows me knows, I am a staunch Democrat, so bias acknowledged.

All of that aside, I'm watching CNN and Palin is on stage with McCain in Ohio, and my first reaction is that McCain, sanding next to the much younger, former beauty queen Palin, looks like your average dirty old man.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Motivation

The last two weeks, I've been hopelessly addicted to the Olympics. It happens every time; somehow in the years in between I forget how much these contests draw you in. The drama, the glory, the amazing story telling of the featured athletes, the cultural clashes, the subtext, the suspense - you stand no chance! Every day, I DVR the four hours of prime time, and start watching it around 8 or 9, when I've wrapped up my to-do list for the day. I never finish, merely I give into sleep on my couch around 11:30, and wake up sleepy the next day. Only to repeat. Last week, obviously Michael Phelps dominated the headlines. Last night, the amazing accomplishment of USA women's volleyball gold medal match. Tonight, the horror of both the USA's mens and womens' track team dropping the baton in the relay. And throughout, the inescapable draw of gymnastics. A bit of a surprise this go-around -- the pommel horse captivated me. Seriously, how do they do that? And, the rings? And every thing the women do - I don't get how it's even humanly possible. But it is! It's amazing!

I read stories in ESPN magazine and others leading up to this. Stories about how athletes train for years, even for a 10 second competition. Stories about overcoming devastating injury, burning lungs gasping for breath, muscles straining for one last push to get the edge. The lifelong sacrifices these athletes and their families make... well, it all got me to thinking a little bit.

You see, I've been working all stupid summer long to comfortably run 3 miles. My boyfriend and I have registered for 2 races, and for various reasons out of our control, we've had to cancel each. My goal was to run with him, and he runs 3 miles easily and at least two minutes faster than I. Regardless, I never seemed to even get to 3 miles comfortably. But, lo and behold, the Olympics! After reading the stories, watching the strain, and sharing the glory, somehow it took hold within my own body. Magically, my body learned to suck it up. I tell myself, this is nothing! I mean, Michael Phelps swims 5 miles a day (and gets to eat 10,000 calories!). Now, I run like a gazelle - for me. Painful and slow for any actual runner. For these two glorious weeks, the Olympics have motivated me to dig deep, push through and see it through to the end.

It's quite sad this is referencing merely a 3 mile run. I mean, I do work out often, but have never been much of a jogger, much less a runner. But now I'm all cocky and am starting to think of 6 miles - a 10K! I've run that before, I can do it now right? And, aiming high - what about a half marathon? I can do it! The Olympics have me believing!! Will it all go away with the upcoming closing ceremony? Shawn Johnson goes home, and I lub through a mile and no further? I hope not. Maybe I'll dream of Bob Costas interviewing me, asking how I got through 6, or 13 miles... or 3... and it will keep me going until the next Olympics in 2010. One can only hope!

Monday, July 28, 2008

An email from a friend from yoga classes here in the Twin Cities offers a little comfort after a very difficult week:

Hi Elena - It was nice to see you at class yesterday. It is so strange how fast time has flown by since NUT. I wanted to pass on a quote Jo Mary read to us in a silent hot class. Perhaps it will help you and your friends during this difficult time. I am sorry for your loss.

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Our true home is the present moment. To live in the present moment is a miracle. The miracle is not to walk on water; the miracle is to walk on the green earth in the present moment,to appreciate the peace and beauty that are available now.

Peace is all around us in the world, in nature;it is within us,in our bodies and in our spirits.

Once we learn to touch this peace, we will be healed and transformed.

It is not a matter of faith; it is a matter of practice.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Pet Peeves - More

Perhaps I get irritated more than the average person. Here is my update to my running list of pet peeves.

One of the most irritating things in the world is when, either at work or outside, you express an idea and no one takes notice - but then 5 minutes later, someone else says the exact same thing, and it is recognized as pure, unadulterated genius. This happened three times in a day last week, not that I'm counting.

I also get highly irritated when someone else makes a traffic violation and then gets mad at me for it.

Finally, I get highly irritated with people in leadership positions who refuse to make a decision, to take charge or to deal with conflict.

Any more?

Saturday, April 19, 2008

The Weirdest Things Happen To Me

This week one of my client's was hosting a training seminar for a strategic partner. At one point, I was asked to drive a few people over to one of our lab buildings to see a new product demo. Fine, easy, no problem, right? I mean, it's a five minute drive, what could go wrong?

On my drive back, I noticed I was running low on gas. I stopped at the gas station at the edge of our company's expansive campus. The gas pump took forever, but eventually I was on my way. As I turned back onto the street, all of the sudden a police motorcycle stopped the car in front of me - and therefore me as well. Shortly, a stream of cars appeared from the oncoming side. It was then I noticed a large cemetary to my right. A long, lengthy and slow funeral procession proceeded to unfold. Seriously, 15 minutes later, I was on my way again.

By the time I made it back to our training room, I discovered that my client was well into the slides I was intended to present, because I hadn't been there to do it myself. So, I was forced to explain I was tardy due to a funeral procession. It was embarassing.

These things happen, seriously, all the time.

Monday, April 07, 2008

Looking for Inspiration.

I am searching for inspiration. I feel like I am wading through muck, each day just blind work that is leading to nowhere. I want it to add up. I want to be in a place that I haven't reached. I am in need of inspiration. Inspiration that things work out, it's worth it. Wading through muck is tiring. It is uninspiring. It's a negotiation. It sucks my energy. I feel like I am halfway to nowhere, or halfway to somewhere - somewhere I want to go or somewhere else. I don't know. Things are drab. Stuck in uninspiring patterns without an obvious purpose. It's like a halfway point from an uninspired beginning, halfway to some sort of nothing. I am halfway through my job, but it's more than that. I think it's just that I can see a picture of things, and while I may be halfway to something, I'm not so sure it's that. So much feels out of my control. I don't like not having control. I need something, just a flash, or a dose, a shot, a taste, a sample - to know it's not only muck, it's halfway to somewhere I want to be.